top of page
  • Dale V Wayman, PhD

Children's Motivations

To properly parent, it is important to know what motivates children. If you can figure out a child's goal, then you can figure out how to best help them. If you can identify the goals of a child you can plan your corrective action much more intelligently

Research indicates that there are four basic goals for kids:

1. Attention - Children want attention be it negative or positive. Negative attention is better than no attention.

2. Power - Children can openly rebel or be quietly stubborn

3. Revenge - lying, stealing, or hurting others

4. Inadequacy - This passive child relays the message, "Don't expect anything from me because I don't have anything to give."

CORRECTIVE ACTION - Four steps can help you to be proactive in your parenting. These four steps can be remembered easily with the acronym CARE.

C - Catch yourself - don't yell, talk too much or preach. Make action, not

words, the principal means of conveying intentions.

A - Assess the child's goals - What goals are being served by the behavior?

R - Respond with consequences and encouragement - Consequences

need to be logical and natural.

E - Execute with consistency, friendliness, and respect - Remember

that rules without relationship leads to rebellion.

19 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

This story about Adler's way of getting a 5-year-old to pick up his toys is told by Dr. Herbert Schaffer, President of the French Adlerian Society: In Amsterdam, I was part of a scene which remains in

Many kids play video games. Alfred Adler theorized that if you want to understand children watch them play. He and others indicated that play is to children as work is to adults. Adler and others e

From my perspective, it seems that many counselors tend to agree that our emotions are housed in our first language. Many Adlerians agree and also posit that much of our emotions are housed in our in

bottom of page